Heavy like the rocks we carry

I forbade my friends and family from commenting on or "liking" my blog publicly for obvious reasons, but I got a nice private note from "P", who I refer to in the first post. She sent me a quote from French President Francois Mitterand's secret daughter by his mistress. 

"Being unable to share a secret makes this secret very heavy. You protect it rather than protecting yourself.”

The worst thing about living a lie is just wondering when they'll find out

As I mentioned before, I am living in the P closet. From what I understand, this is pretty common for the early stages, but I'm not really sure why. I guess everybody has their reasons, and I certainly have mine, but I am unclear what the shame or need to hide is all about. There are always folks who protect the privacy of their health conditions, but this one feels to me like there's an extra need for people to bury it from view.

My mind holds the key

"You should write"

(after the standard sympathies) That was P's first reaction when I told her that I had just been diagnosed with Parkinson's disease in my mid 30s. P was a close mentor for me in graduate school and remains one of the very small number of people that I have told about my condition.